so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
