If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
