Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
