Grow some girl-balls and come out already
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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