I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
