I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
