Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
