Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
