My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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