so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
