Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
