I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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