I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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