I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
