My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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