Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
