i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
