i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
