Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
