I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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