Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
