super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
