I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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