is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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