Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
