We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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