He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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