i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
