Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
