just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
