Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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