i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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