I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
