I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Randomize
