so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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