I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
