Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
