Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i believe in u and ur pee
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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