Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
