I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
