The maid of honor just puked.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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