My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
