The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
