We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
