Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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