Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
