And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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