Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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