listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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