it wasn't lemon gatorade
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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