I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
